Finally we’re done with blogs (or at least I will be after I finish my 200-250 words that will make up this last post)! I don’t mind writing. I do, however, mind frequent and mandatory writing. When I think of a topic that’s good, I’ll write about it on my own. However, when I have to think about a topic and then immediately begin writing about it, I don’t necessarily have as much fun. This was the problem with blogs. Sunday morning would roll around, and I’d have 3 blogs to write. I’d sit at the computer, trying to think of a topic to write about, but nothing would come. This was always agitating, which lead to my dislike of school sanctioned blogging.
One thing that I think may have improved my blog and possibly other peoples’ would have been to have had class time provide for the sole purpose of reading other peoples’ blogs. I kind of wrote these entries as if someone else was going to read them, but I know not many people actually did. I think everyone could have benefited from feedback from others and a bit of public attention to the blogs.
I may continue to blog during the summer, but the chances are slim. I simply am not on the computer much. I don’t have any reason musically to get on (iTunes or Youtube videos), and I don’t really play computer games because I have an Xbox. These blogs were better than the writing notebook and its 5 entries per week, but they could still use improvement. Summer is almost here, and the blogs are done. Sweet.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Team Zodiac
I have to say my favorite map is either bloc or overgrown, although downpour and strike are close seconds. My Call of Duty 4 team is pretty much MLG now. We’re 45-4, have beaten the number two ranked team, and are ranked 142nd out of 22,700+ teams. We have seven people on our team: two from Iowa, two from Nebraska, and three from Idaho. We are one of the best HCSnD teams out there. This is one of the major factors that make these maps my favorites.
I am quite the sniper in HCSnD games. I used to use the M40A3, but I’ve recently switched back to the Russian Dragunov because I got it golden and because I like semi-auto’s much better. There is barely any difference in accuracy between the two, but with the Dragunov I can fire four or five times in the time it takes the M40A3 to reload and fire its second round. Using snipers or other long range weapons is how we frequently win. We can eliminate two or three people in a 5 vs. 5 game within 15 seconds, increasing our odds of victory by a large factor. Using the sniper in overgrown, bloc, and downpour also provides you a ghillie suit, which makes you much harder to see. I’ve had people walk right past me (or on me) without realizing I was there because of my ghillie. Clan matches on good maps are always a good time.
I am quite the sniper in HCSnD games. I used to use the M40A3, but I’ve recently switched back to the Russian Dragunov because I got it golden and because I like semi-auto’s much better. There is barely any difference in accuracy between the two, but with the Dragunov I can fire four or five times in the time it takes the M40A3 to reload and fire its second round. Using snipers or other long range weapons is how we frequently win. We can eliminate two or three people in a 5 vs. 5 game within 15 seconds, increasing our odds of victory by a large factor. Using the sniper in overgrown, bloc, and downpour also provides you a ghillie suit, which makes you much harder to see. I’ve had people walk right past me (or on me) without realizing I was there because of my ghillie. Clan matches on good maps are always a good time.
CS's last post.
This is why, in the end, CS is garbage. Please look at the most recent post on his blog for this year at this garbage blog. It is titled “BURN IT ALL”. Read through it. It is very well written. This is the text going to be spoken for our video essay about global cooling which is due at the end of this year. This is not a blog post. This is meant to be a movie. CS posted this on Tuesday because he didn’t want to have to post any more blogs during the week. He is infinitely lazy. Seeing as how Alex is behind the 9 blog posts which are due today, I believe he should be able to use it for a post. I am going to finish this one up with it, because I am the one who is going to have to say everything written in it, making it mine.
It’s not necessarily that I have always enjoyed the sight of fat people sweating, or even that I have come to enjoy this phenomenon, so much as I have always been cold. For this reason, I have found the world more delightful in these later years of my life, as I am sure many others have.
We live in America, the country you can count on to lead the world. We can count on America to make things how we want them: bigger, faster, hotter. I am proud to be a part of this effort, to make winters more comfortable, to make heating bills less costly, to turn up the heat, and get places doing it. America leads the world in the consumption of these magnificent hydrocarbons with other major players such as China and India playing in suit. We hold today a reputation for leading the world even stronger than it was after the Second World War.
Not only are we as Americans doing the right thing, our environment is repaying us. Public water bodies such as pools, rivers, and oceans will someday be warm enough to comfortably swim in. Too many fit guys like myself are being forced to wear shirts while they swim to avoid freezing to death. Only we can answer this call.
On top of this, the world around us will swell with life. No longer will plants wither in December, and no longer will we have to spend money to produce structures to protect them from poor weather, we are taking a stand. The air will be thick with oxygen, like a cozy blanket.
Children will be able to spend more time outside, someday even year round. The sports we love to play would never have to stop, and with any luck, any and all Americans will be able to work on their base tans for free.
Historians say that history repeats itself, and that we must know of these pasts if we are ever to escape them. I draw upon a key issue of genocide to conclude my case. Many years ago, our planet was wrought by an entire age of ice, destroying an abhorrent number of dinosaurs, and leading to their extinction.
This was no freak accident, as historians will tell you that there was not one, not two, not three, but four separate occasions in which this world was covered entirely by a storm of ice. Do not go calm into this dark night, stand for our economy, our comfort, and our lives: Warm this globe.
It’s not necessarily that I have always enjoyed the sight of fat people sweating, or even that I have come to enjoy this phenomenon, so much as I have always been cold. For this reason, I have found the world more delightful in these later years of my life, as I am sure many others have.
We live in America, the country you can count on to lead the world. We can count on America to make things how we want them: bigger, faster, hotter. I am proud to be a part of this effort, to make winters more comfortable, to make heating bills less costly, to turn up the heat, and get places doing it. America leads the world in the consumption of these magnificent hydrocarbons with other major players such as China and India playing in suit. We hold today a reputation for leading the world even stronger than it was after the Second World War.
Not only are we as Americans doing the right thing, our environment is repaying us. Public water bodies such as pools, rivers, and oceans will someday be warm enough to comfortably swim in. Too many fit guys like myself are being forced to wear shirts while they swim to avoid freezing to death. Only we can answer this call.
On top of this, the world around us will swell with life. No longer will plants wither in December, and no longer will we have to spend money to produce structures to protect them from poor weather, we are taking a stand. The air will be thick with oxygen, like a cozy blanket.
Children will be able to spend more time outside, someday even year round. The sports we love to play would never have to stop, and with any luck, any and all Americans will be able to work on their base tans for free.
Historians say that history repeats itself, and that we must know of these pasts if we are ever to escape them. I draw upon a key issue of genocide to conclude my case. Many years ago, our planet was wrought by an entire age of ice, destroying an abhorrent number of dinosaurs, and leading to their extinction.
This was no freak accident, as historians will tell you that there was not one, not two, not three, but four separate occasions in which this world was covered entirely by a storm of ice. Do not go calm into this dark night, stand for our economy, our comfort, and our lives: Warm this globe.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Your Homepage.
This site bothers me: http://kenn.cr.k12.ia.us/. This is the Kennedy Homepage. We should all look to this website in our times of need and find hope in the presence of our classmates. This should be a beacon of excellence in the dark world of Iowa and its surrounding haze. This is, sadly, not the case. Our current homepage makes me want to weep openly.
There are three pictures which appear on the left side of the screen. I don’t think they even scroll between the different ones, because you have to refresh the page (at least on my computer) to see the next one. The first one is some kid in the cafeteria looking stupidly into the camera. It’s obscenely unnatural. The next one contains two random girls hugging each other. They are, again, in the lunch room. I would almost bet money they don’t actually go to Kennedy, because I’ve never seen either of them in my life. The last picture, however, I find the most offensive. It has some kid in a red shirt looking at the camera, while in the cafeteria… He appears initially to be a very smart kid. You can tell by the fact he has a spicy chicken sandwich in front of him. However, if you look closely, you can see there is mayonnaise on the sandwich and that there are more packets that he has yet to add. This is disgraceful. What a horrible way to RUIN a perfectly good spicy chicken sandwich. Anyone at my lunch table (except maybe the Canadian kid) would agree; the act of putting that white crap on a spicy chicken sandwich deserves capital punishment, at least. Because of these three pictures taken on the same day in the cafeteria, our website is trash. I need not go into the color scheme, the scrolling words at the top, or how they banned Alex from the forums, because you already know that this site isn’t worth visiting.
There are three pictures which appear on the left side of the screen. I don’t think they even scroll between the different ones, because you have to refresh the page (at least on my computer) to see the next one. The first one is some kid in the cafeteria looking stupidly into the camera. It’s obscenely unnatural. The next one contains two random girls hugging each other. They are, again, in the lunch room. I would almost bet money they don’t actually go to Kennedy, because I’ve never seen either of them in my life. The last picture, however, I find the most offensive. It has some kid in a red shirt looking at the camera, while in the cafeteria… He appears initially to be a very smart kid. You can tell by the fact he has a spicy chicken sandwich in front of him. However, if you look closely, you can see there is mayonnaise on the sandwich and that there are more packets that he has yet to add. This is disgraceful. What a horrible way to RUIN a perfectly good spicy chicken sandwich. Anyone at my lunch table (except maybe the Canadian kid) would agree; the act of putting that white crap on a spicy chicken sandwich deserves capital punishment, at least. Because of these three pictures taken on the same day in the cafeteria, our website is trash. I need not go into the color scheme, the scrolling words at the top, or how they banned Alex from the forums, because you already know that this site isn’t worth visiting.
Hug 'em!
I typed in “Weird Animals” into Google and found a site with this little guy on it. Apparently he’s known as the Yeti Crab and is only about 6 inches long. It has blond hair on its legs and claws, which is the fur on the picture. Yeti Crabs are thought to be blind. They have bacteria in their hairs that can filter out poisonous minerals from the hydrothermal vents they live by, way under the ocean. They also eat green algae and small shrimp.
The only animal cooler would be the platypus. Why? It’s (as far as we know) the only poisonous mammal. That’d be like a human with a venomous stinger on the end of their finger(s) which they could hunt with. Sweet.
Now I can’t help but wonder why I just looked up an obscure animal and decided to learn about it. My Psychology would tell me that I am intrinsically motivated to learn. I just wanted to at the time, so I did. I wasn’t rewarded, really, in any way. No one gave me a high-five, paid me, or fed me candy. I just looked up the yeti crab for no real reason, learned about it, and that’s it.
The only animal cooler would be the platypus. Why? It’s (as far as we know) the only poisonous mammal. That’d be like a human with a venomous stinger on the end of their finger(s) which they could hunt with. Sweet.
Now I can’t help but wonder why I just looked up an obscure animal and decided to learn about it. My Psychology would tell me that I am intrinsically motivated to learn. I just wanted to at the time, so I did. I wasn’t rewarded, really, in any way. No one gave me a high-five, paid me, or fed me candy. I just looked up the yeti crab for no real reason, learned about it, and that’s it.
Around Eleven.
I have, again, gotten into a disagreement with the queen of noobs, CS. This is a purely verbal disagreement in the fact that I haven’t punched him out and that we’re actually arguing about words. Disturbed has their new album to be released very soon (early June?) so they’ve pre-released a single called Inside the Fire. If you haven’t listened to Disturbed before, you may find them hard to understand. This is where the disagreement follows.
In this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9jImX7s2yk, between :36 and :38, we can’t agree on the words. These are your options, listed from right to wrong:
“Around Eleven” – Correct!
“No Longer Living” – No way this is right…
When we had Mrs. Dolezal for a sub during zero hour one day, we had a few friends try to decide which words they thought they heard. Depending on what they were told first (priming!) would affect the outcome of what they said. My guess is because they couldn’t tell either way, so they just went with the first thing they heard. Hooray AP Psychology.
Please, don’t attempt to consult “official” lyrics, because there aren’t any. Right now, all there is for lyrics are people guessing what’s actually being said. One lyrics site has nearly completely different lyrics from the next. Listen to the song, and decide for yourself.
In this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9jImX7s2yk, between :36 and :38, we can’t agree on the words. These are your options, listed from right to wrong:
“Around Eleven” – Correct!
“No Longer Living” – No way this is right…
When we had Mrs. Dolezal for a sub during zero hour one day, we had a few friends try to decide which words they thought they heard. Depending on what they were told first (priming!) would affect the outcome of what they said. My guess is because they couldn’t tell either way, so they just went with the first thing they heard. Hooray AP Psychology.
Please, don’t attempt to consult “official” lyrics, because there aren’t any. Right now, all there is for lyrics are people guessing what’s actually being said. One lyrics site has nearly completely different lyrics from the next. Listen to the song, and decide for yourself.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
3!
I have looked for support again, from my friend Alexander. When I realized I had three blog entries to type this morning, I was distraught. I didn’t know what to do with myself, because I was so far behind in my writing. However, I looked at Mr. Alex’s blog, and found that he hasn’t written an entry in nearly two weeks. I found hope with this fact, the fact that someone was worse off than me.
Looking at other people’s blogs (in a completely stalker-type manner, of course) I have found true meaning in my life from examining the future’s problems TODAY. I’m quite surprised Zachy hasn’t written about the disaster (tsunami?) in Myanmar. It’s all over the news, with their military government not allowing aid to enter the country, apparently because they don’t like Americans (or more likely our western influence, which owns).
Segueing right from aid to AIDS, I heard a new acronym for this on xbox live from some 7 or 8 year old kid. He called it an “Anally Inflicted Death Sentence.” I’m not sure what to make of this, other than that that kid has issues. Another thing Zachariah could write about is AIDS, which will likely be a problem for quite awhile. Also, on a side note, “Zachy” is apparently spelled wrong, but “Zachariah” isn’t? That’s borderline insane.
Lastly, I haven’t ripped on CS in a post or two, so I will take this opportunity. On the way to the United States History AP test, he nearly turned left in front of a horde of incoming cars because our light was green. Suicides are, in fact, -10 XP. How noobish.
Looking at other people’s blogs (in a completely stalker-type manner, of course) I have found true meaning in my life from examining the future’s problems TODAY. I’m quite surprised Zachy hasn’t written about the disaster (tsunami?) in Myanmar. It’s all over the news, with their military government not allowing aid to enter the country, apparently because they don’t like Americans (or more likely our western influence, which owns).
Segueing right from aid to AIDS, I heard a new acronym for this on xbox live from some 7 or 8 year old kid. He called it an “Anally Inflicted Death Sentence.” I’m not sure what to make of this, other than that that kid has issues. Another thing Zachariah could write about is AIDS, which will likely be a problem for quite awhile. Also, on a side note, “Zachy” is apparently spelled wrong, but “Zachariah” isn’t? That’s borderline insane.
Lastly, I haven’t ripped on CS in a post or two, so I will take this opportunity. On the way to the United States History AP test, he nearly turned left in front of a horde of incoming cars because our light was green. Suicides are, in fact, -10 XP. How noobish.
This week's god-paragraph, not to be confused with the pure god-blocks on god108, Iowa's pure god
This week I apparently forgot to write an entry before the weekend. I have three to do today, and I have already written one. I find writing two on a weekend is fine because I write one good or decent one and then a rant similar to this and can then consider myself successful in maintaining my Language Arts grade. I can’t seem to write today. It took me a fairly large amount of time to write my previous entry, and this one isn’t as easy as most other rants are. I’m unsure why this is. Bleh.
The last sentence typed “Bleh.” has two underlines on it. Microsoft word underlines red for incorrectly spelled words, and underlines green for improper grammar. “Bleh” could be bleb, blew, bled, belch, or blotch, and the green underline says “Fragment (consider revising).” I say SCREW YOU Microsoft word. Also, when typing Microsoft, I didn’t use a capital M, and the stupid program actually capitalized it by itself. It didn’t even ask permission. Microsoft. It did it again. Furthermore, it didn’t think that “Microsoft.” was a grammatically incorrect sentence at first. Fools! Fools!
In other news, I have found an example of regression towards the mean, a psychology term. Pretty much all of the music videos on youtube are four out of five stars for their rating. There are mostly five stars, with a few lower ones for the people who waste their time listening to music they don’t like and then complaining about it. This creates a nice balance of a four star rating for pretty much everyone, making everyone a wimp because no matter what they do they’ll get four stars. Besides this, when you type fast, you type starts instead of stars a bunch, which gets annoying because spell check doesn’t catch that. Just another example of Microsoft word’s inferiority to Notepad. Now I’m sad. I have written my long, 300+ word entry for the week, and am normally done. Now, because I failed to write ONE entry during the week, have to write another one. This isn’t cool. Here goes nothing…
The last sentence typed “Bleh.” has two underlines on it. Microsoft word underlines red for incorrectly spelled words, and underlines green for improper grammar. “Bleh” could be bleb, blew, bled, belch, or blotch, and the green underline says “Fragment (consider revising).” I say SCREW YOU Microsoft word. Also, when typing Microsoft, I didn’t use a capital M, and the stupid program actually capitalized it by itself. It didn’t even ask permission. Microsoft. It did it again. Furthermore, it didn’t think that “Microsoft.” was a grammatically incorrect sentence at first. Fools! Fools!
In other news, I have found an example of regression towards the mean, a psychology term. Pretty much all of the music videos on youtube are four out of five stars for their rating. There are mostly five stars, with a few lower ones for the people who waste their time listening to music they don’t like and then complaining about it. This creates a nice balance of a four star rating for pretty much everyone, making everyone a wimp because no matter what they do they’ll get four stars. Besides this, when you type fast, you type starts instead of stars a bunch, which gets annoying because spell check doesn’t catch that. Just another example of Microsoft word’s inferiority to Notepad. Now I’m sad. I have written my long, 300+ word entry for the week, and am normally done. Now, because I failed to write ONE entry during the week, have to write another one. This isn’t cool. Here goes nothing…
Ghillies in the Mist
First off, I figured out how to post pics. Second, this man has his rifle pointed at you, and you’re just sitting there staring at him. He’s in what would be known as a ghillie suit, which is the best suit in my opinion, disregarding the birthday suit.
I was looking around one the web a bit, trying to figure out how to make one of these, because running around in one would be awesome. I ended up finding the “history” of the suit. Apparently gamekeepers made them using some sort of African grass and hid around, waiting for poachers. Now it has changed into a military tool used primarily by snipers. The reason these suits are better than simply camouflaged clothing is because they can make real shadows because they are actually 3D. The darkest black on normal clothes is still lighter than actual shadow, which makes the ghillie superior. It also serves to eliminate your human-ish outline, which makes detecting you with the naked eye a lot harder.
Anyway, when I finally found a site which looked pretty good, the materials for making one of these would have cost a few hundred dollars. There were a bunch of different methods to make them, and at the end the guy talked about a bunch of ways to move around in one while in a wooded area without being seen. If CS would ever make one of these, he’d have to make his red because they’d see his noobishness no matter what he did anyway.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
I Hate You.
Thursday was “Stop the Hate” day at school. A few months ago they gave us a survey about swearing-related topics and had us answer it. Apparently they finally got around to analyzing the results and found out that we are all foul-mouthed individuals. Thursday really didn’t have anything to do with hate; it was just an attempt to stop the foul language at school.
This didn’t work. I think I heard more swearing Thursday than any other day this year. There was a statistic such as “66% of students don’t mind foul language” or “54% of students hear foul language in the front foyer daily” played over the intercom before each class. Honestly, I don’t think their results were quite valid. Not everyone goes through the foyer, so the 54% should actually be about 98%, since kids yell things like “SHIT I FORGOT MY HOMEWORK” all the time.
My favorite thing was how people reacted to the picketers. These people volunteered to hold up signs during passing time and before and after school in the foyer. They said things like “Positive language is contagious” and “Think before you speak!” I saw one guy walk right up to one of them (I'm guessing it was his friend) and start cussing him out. It was actually pretty entertaining. Now that that holiday is over, the next week or two will be “Restart the Hate” week at school, since we all need to get our cursing fix in after missing a day. Damn.
This didn’t work. I think I heard more swearing Thursday than any other day this year. There was a statistic such as “66% of students don’t mind foul language” or “54% of students hear foul language in the front foyer daily” played over the intercom before each class. Honestly, I don’t think their results were quite valid. Not everyone goes through the foyer, so the 54% should actually be about 98%, since kids yell things like “SHIT I FORGOT MY HOMEWORK” all the time.
My favorite thing was how people reacted to the picketers. These people volunteered to hold up signs during passing time and before and after school in the foyer. They said things like “Positive language is contagious” and “Think before you speak!” I saw one guy walk right up to one of them (I'm guessing it was his friend) and start cussing him out. It was actually pretty entertaining. Now that that holiday is over, the next week or two will be “Restart the Hate” week at school, since we all need to get our cursing fix in after missing a day. Damn.
DDR Diva DDR
Diva needs to have her idea written about. It shall be done. There are many ways to entertain yourself in school after you have finished a test before everyone else. You can eat something, read something (losers), throw something(s), play something (Pokemon), or bust out your green-see-through Texas Instruments TI-83 Graphing Calculator with GAMES on it. Honestly, any of these but reading seem like a good idea to me, because I never have a book.
Diva doesn’t care about any of that. She just likes the calculator games. With my calculator, there are many to choose from. My favorites include Tetris, BlockDude, Phoenix, and DDR. Yes, that’s Dance Dance Revolution. Diva only plays DDR. I have never played the actual DDR where you have to move your feet to hit up, down, left, and right arrows. They come in rapid succession and occasionally you have to hit two at once. The worst part is hitting two at once. Anyway, I have this game on my calculator. If you’ve ever seen a TI-83 you’ll know it has the proper up, down, left, and right arrow keys for viewing different parts of graphs. The game has you dance with these arrow keys with your fingers. No one can do it but Diva.
Diva doesn’t care about any of that. She just likes the calculator games. With my calculator, there are many to choose from. My favorites include Tetris, BlockDude, Phoenix, and DDR. Yes, that’s Dance Dance Revolution. Diva only plays DDR. I have never played the actual DDR where you have to move your feet to hit up, down, left, and right arrows. They come in rapid succession and occasionally you have to hit two at once. The worst part is hitting two at once. Anyway, I have this game on my calculator. If you’ve ever seen a TI-83 you’ll know it has the proper up, down, left, and right arrow keys for viewing different parts of graphs. The game has you dance with these arrow keys with your fingers. No one can do it but Diva.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
NOT TEH GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUNTLEHT
As some of you may not be presently currently aware, there isn’t a plague of mist in these lands, there’s nothing out of its place, nothing, no one that doesn’t belong in this world for the dead, a beauty comprised of flesh and blood, a beauty of a pure pro, a beauty that holds ground and deserves fortune, a beauty that is so humble of its greatest accomplishments such as world peace solved in a single paragraph, and, indeed, while an enormous accomplishment, it is everything compared to the feat CS is currently attempting, a feat not driven by competition and not wrought with spite, a blog entry, once more, that is 1/0 less 1337 than all of its predecessors, one paragraph, naw, one sentence, a tiny embodiment of noobishness and garbage, a truthful compilation of thought and comma, as words are weak and syntax is satisfied none would say this is no longer a sentence, but once again noobs scream naw, for they cheat the establishment, and do everything of the sort, with semicolons, colons, and multiple dot dot dots, this is not pure in either wit or skill, as he misspells coffin while trying to shut it on the phrase we haven’t come to live by enough, SJ08> 08CS, a phrase in itself without fallacy, shining through the light as all the rays of truth in this world, a beauty in and of itself, with absolutely measurable strength and commitment to its cause, it is mortal and may die upon being erased, a new religion, full of obscenity, molestation, and lies, this is the lie we must all accept.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
no more SITTING
I'm sitting here, wasting time, because I can't think of a topic to write about. I will reference the predictions of one of my friends from when we all started these blogs: no one will ever read them, and if someone does read yours, you will probably be beaten or raped in the near future because you are being stalked. Therefore, my thought process is as follows: does it really matter what I type about? As long as I reach the lofty word count of 200 or 250 words, it doesn’t matter what is actually on the page. Also: I want to use as many colons as possible, in support for all of the people who die daily from colon cancer. Their life: sucks because it ended: at a bad: time. 8:19 AM, world count: 135! Keep going! This is going to be speedy. I looked at Alex’s blog moments before beginning to type this, and he was behind by four blogs. That was a week ago, meaning he has three for this week as well. Uh oh: noob. And speaking of noobs: CS is garbage. On a lighter note, a tribute goes to CB for training my WigglyTANK in the previous post (or maybe two posts ago). She did a splendid job of walking around aimlessly fighting stuff with the only Pokemon I had that she found “cute”. 8:22, using more colons, word count: 235! Can I hit 350 in one paragraph? This is insane! The only homework I had this weekend was from AP Lang. I had one-and-a-half (now using –‘s because colons aren’t cool anymore) blog entries to write, I had to revise my essay, and I have to still write a response to a graphic novel in my reading notebook. Eight twenty-four – and a word count of – 302! The home stretch! This is now going to be called the god-paragraph. When you can write and write and write about nothing so that the nothing connects to the other nothing and even though it is all nothing something is written so that you meet your word count it is called the god-paragraph. So, does it really connect? 360 – word – count – yeah!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Die Agno's Tick
Diagnostic tests prove that people suck at life. You have worked the entire year, studying for a large AP exam for sometimes multiple classes. Around this time, we take these diagnostic tests to see how well we’ve retained the information over the year, and to see what we have to focus studying on. The AP Psych diagnostics were about 10-15 questions long per section, and there were 14 sections. These questions were each a short sentence, followed by five choices. It took about two hours to do all 14 sections. Most people averaged between 50 and 80% correct. This is weak. You’ve been studying the whole year and you can only remember (or can guess) half of them?
At this point, I stopped writing on Tuesday because class was over. Returning now to this topic, it is extremely lame and apparently I only wanted the satisfaction of being able to say, “I finished TWO blog entries in class today!” This is, of course, understandable, so I won’t beat myself up too much about it. Anyway…
CS was sitting next to me attempting to do the LA diagnostic, which was 90 questions in two sections. Each question had a giant paragraph to read accompanying it, which would make the test extremely long. He gave up after two, because he is weak.
At this point, I stopped writing on Tuesday because class was over. Returning now to this topic, it is extremely lame and apparently I only wanted the satisfaction of being able to say, “I finished TWO blog entries in class today!” This is, of course, understandable, so I won’t beat myself up too much about it. Anyway…
CS was sitting next to me attempting to do the LA diagnostic, which was 90 questions in two sections. Each question had a giant paragraph to read accompanying it, which would make the test extremely long. He gave up after two, because he is weak.
More Pokemon
WigglyTANK is completely sick. In the four hours or more each direction on the previously stated Chicago trip, I had some time to kill. Out came the ghetto Pokemon red version and the see-through purple game boy color, with its extreme entertainment value.
I went over to route three, which is just west of Mt. Moon, looking for a Jigglypuff. They’re fairly rare, so it took me awhile to find one. I caught a total of 4, all of them at level three, and selected the best out of them. The random base-stats generator in the original Pokemon games can be taken advantage of if you know what you’re doing. The Pokemon’s base stats determine its end game stats, so if you start out with garbage you’ll end with garbage. I selected the Jigglypuff with the best stats, which if I remember correctly was 21 HP, 8 attack, and 6 defense, speed, and special. Not bad for a starter, actually.
Next, it was time for training. Jigglypuffs evolve with a moon stone, which means you can evolve them at your pleasure. However, once evolved, they learn no new techniques, so you really have to wait before you do it. At level 34 it learns Body Slam, which was the last worthwhile technique it learns, so I decided to evolve it then. It was then renamed WigglyTANK, because Wigglytuff is a garbage name. Its final move lineup consisted of Body Slam, Rest, Sing, and Psychic. When low on health, I sing to put the opponent to sleep. While it’s sleeping, I use rest, which puts me to sleep and restores my HP to full. We then both wake up, me at full HP, and the opponent still weak. WigglyTANK… furthermore, CS is garbage.
I went over to route three, which is just west of Mt. Moon, looking for a Jigglypuff. They’re fairly rare, so it took me awhile to find one. I caught a total of 4, all of them at level three, and selected the best out of them. The random base-stats generator in the original Pokemon games can be taken advantage of if you know what you’re doing. The Pokemon’s base stats determine its end game stats, so if you start out with garbage you’ll end with garbage. I selected the Jigglypuff with the best stats, which if I remember correctly was 21 HP, 8 attack, and 6 defense, speed, and special. Not bad for a starter, actually.
Next, it was time for training. Jigglypuffs evolve with a moon stone, which means you can evolve them at your pleasure. However, once evolved, they learn no new techniques, so you really have to wait before you do it. At level 34 it learns Body Slam, which was the last worthwhile technique it learns, so I decided to evolve it then. It was then renamed WigglyTANK, because Wigglytuff is a garbage name. Its final move lineup consisted of Body Slam, Rest, Sing, and Psychic. When low on health, I sing to put the opponent to sleep. While it’s sleeping, I use rest, which puts me to sleep and restores my HP to full. We then both wake up, me at full HP, and the opponent still weak. WigglyTANK… furthermore, CS is garbage.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Sí Sí Sí
Yesterday (Friday the 18th) I went to Chicago for the Spanish trip. There were 54 people, including teacher/chaperones, and we were there and back in one day. It was actually a pretty good trip, for how short it was.
I had to get up a little after 5 in the morning so we could board the bus at 6 and leave, in theory, by 6:15. We then undertook the 4ish hour drive to Chicago. We got there very early, because for some reason the traffic was especially light, so we walked around Millennium Park for a few minutes before our museum tour started. We went to the Chicago Art Museum to see paintings and what not, focusing on the Spanish artists.
We then went to Café Iberico, which is a Spanish tapas restaurant. Tapas are how the Spanish people often eat. You sit at a table with lots of people (in this case 27 per table) and the waiters bring small dishes that you all share. There were six or seven different things they brought out, and most were quite exotic. They started with some potatoes that had mayonnaise and some kind of oil on them with garlic and other spices. This came with bread, which we ate throughout the whole meal. Next was tortilla Española, which is similar to an omelet. It has eggs, potatoes, onions, and other stuff thrown in. I liked this dish the best. We then had some Spanish ham with goat cheese on it, which had fried bread with tomatoes on it in the same dish. Next came octopus, which I drew the line with. It was white, and you could see the little suction cups on some of the pieces of it. Bleh. Furthering the seafood, we finished with some kind of garlic shrimp.
We drove back home after eating, and it took much longer to get back because traffic was worse on the way home. We returned at a little after 8.
I had to get up a little after 5 in the morning so we could board the bus at 6 and leave, in theory, by 6:15. We then undertook the 4ish hour drive to Chicago. We got there very early, because for some reason the traffic was especially light, so we walked around Millennium Park for a few minutes before our museum tour started. We went to the Chicago Art Museum to see paintings and what not, focusing on the Spanish artists.
We then went to Café Iberico, which is a Spanish tapas restaurant. Tapas are how the Spanish people often eat. You sit at a table with lots of people (in this case 27 per table) and the waiters bring small dishes that you all share. There were six or seven different things they brought out, and most were quite exotic. They started with some potatoes that had mayonnaise and some kind of oil on them with garlic and other spices. This came with bread, which we ate throughout the whole meal. Next was tortilla Española, which is similar to an omelet. It has eggs, potatoes, onions, and other stuff thrown in. I liked this dish the best. We then had some Spanish ham with goat cheese on it, which had fried bread with tomatoes on it in the same dish. Next came octopus, which I drew the line with. It was white, and you could see the little suction cups on some of the pieces of it. Bleh. Furthering the seafood, we finished with some kind of garlic shrimp.
We drove back home after eating, and it took much longer to get back because traffic was worse on the way home. We returned at a little after 8.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
JFK
Recently in US, we have been discussing the Kennedy assassination, and seeing as our school is named after him it’s a pretty big deal. There are all kinds of theories about who killed him, and whether Oswald killed him alone. We know three shots were fired. The first shot missed the President, the second tore through his neck, into some other senator’s ribcage, wrist, and then foot. The third and final shot entered the back of Kennedy’s head, killing him.
Some say that because these shots were so close together, taking about four seconds to fire all three of them, that Oswald wouldn’t have had time to fire them all himself. He was using a bolt-action rifle, which means you have to pop in another shell and pull the bolt back after each shot. However, Oswald was in the military as a marksman, so he could probably have done the shooting alone. The FBI, the mob, and the Cubans all had reasons to kill Kennedy at the time, so many people think there was a conspiracy.\
Personally, I believe the mob killed Kennedy. They had their own gunman on the “grassy knoll” along with Oswald, and that the gunman fired the 2nd shot while Oswald fired the first and third. Oswald was shot a few days later by a man known to have mafia connections, covering up the conspiracy.
Some say that because these shots were so close together, taking about four seconds to fire all three of them, that Oswald wouldn’t have had time to fire them all himself. He was using a bolt-action rifle, which means you have to pop in another shell and pull the bolt back after each shot. However, Oswald was in the military as a marksman, so he could probably have done the shooting alone. The FBI, the mob, and the Cubans all had reasons to kill Kennedy at the time, so many people think there was a conspiracy.\
Personally, I believe the mob killed Kennedy. They had their own gunman on the “grassy knoll” along with Oswald, and that the gunman fired the 2nd shot while Oswald fired the first and third. Oswald was shot a few days later by a man known to have mafia connections, covering up the conspiracy.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Acronym Game
Feel free to use the following acronym to make a phrase. The only requirement is that you must include at least one Pokemon in your sentence. Comment here and I'll add your phrase.
UAIRTHAIRBTAEIRGYAPIGYAERILADIV
Unearthly aerodynamic inverted radon to human amoeba indigestion run back to an energy-efficient iridescent Rhydon going yonder and playing in grass yellow along eating radon in lavish atriums devoid in vacuums.
Uranium and iodine randomly take hydrogen axons in robust bombs to alleviate energetic Ivysaurs really grab your apples pulverized in global youth abomination every rapid integral lamps and destroy imaginary vixens.
Understandingly, an irately running Tentacool high-fived an irately running Butterfree. They, as each implemented rigorous gargling, yelped as Pigiotto ignited gay yearlings after each repetition. I love all delinquency in vain.
Unadulterated, Asbesdos-Ingesting, Rabbit-Throwing, Antagonistic, Irradiated Rare Bulbasaurs Theorising About Energy Independence, ReGurgitating Your Applesauce Prior to InGesting Your Aunt's Emo-filled (Red) iPod Late After Dinner, which may Induce Vomiting.
Usually All Ivysaur Raves Through Hatian Academies In Rio Because Tentacools Are Exceptionally, Irritably, Raging, Gritty, Yarbles And Particualrly In Gross Yearly Atire. Every Regice Is Lazy And Diva Is Victorious
Unusually avocado-esque, intelligent rhinoceri think happily about igneous rocks by the alabaster Electabuzz in really gregarious yurts all possibly inquiring girl yaks about ephemeral rollercoasters in lithuania and dominoe infested ventriloquists.
UAIRTHAIRBTAEIRGYAPIGYAERILADIV
Unearthly aerodynamic inverted radon to human amoeba indigestion run back to an energy-efficient iridescent Rhydon going yonder and playing in grass yellow along eating radon in lavish atriums devoid in vacuums.
Uranium and iodine randomly take hydrogen axons in robust bombs to alleviate energetic Ivysaurs really grab your apples pulverized in global youth abomination every rapid integral lamps and destroy imaginary vixens.
Understandingly, an irately running Tentacool high-fived an irately running Butterfree. They, as each implemented rigorous gargling, yelped as Pigiotto ignited gay yearlings after each repetition. I love all delinquency in vain.
Unadulterated, Asbesdos-Ingesting, Rabbit-Throwing, Antagonistic, Irradiated Rare Bulbasaurs Theorising About Energy Independence, ReGurgitating Your Applesauce Prior to InGesting Your Aunt's Emo-filled (Red) iPod Late After Dinner, which may Induce Vomiting.
Usually All Ivysaur Raves Through Hatian Academies In Rio Because Tentacools Are Exceptionally, Irritably, Raging, Gritty, Yarbles And Particualrly In Gross Yearly Atire. Every Regice Is Lazy And Diva Is Victorious
Unusually avocado-esque, intelligent rhinoceri think happily about igneous rocks by the alabaster Electabuzz in really gregarious yurts all possibly inquiring girl yaks about ephemeral rollercoasters in lithuania and dominoe infested ventriloquists.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Rise Above This.
So I’ve been told a girl at our school has recently attempted suicide. She sat behind me in one of my classes, but I rarely talked to her, and didn’t really know her very well. This is a pretty sad topic, and I don’t know anything about her circumstances or motives behind attempting to end her life, so I won’t attest to that.
One thing I can write about is how people deal with this differently. I realized early this morning, that two songs that I like both deal with suicide, and yet they portray a completely different set of emotions. I’ll start with the much darker song. It is by Disturbed, and is called Into the Fire. Don’t listen to this whole song unless you like the heavier rock genre. At least read along with the intro and a few of the lyrics and into the chorus. This is about the main singer. His girlfriend committed suicide, and he was standing over her body when the devil began talking to him, attempting to get him to end his life as well. This is definitely a disturbing song.
My second song also deals with suicide. It is about the main singer again, only this time his brother committed suicide. I would listen to this whole song, because it is deep. It’s by Seether, and is called Rise Above This. You can hear this singer fairly well, so you really shouldn’t need lyrics. As I read in a book at some point, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Hang in there people.
One thing I can write about is how people deal with this differently. I realized early this morning, that two songs that I like both deal with suicide, and yet they portray a completely different set of emotions. I’ll start with the much darker song. It is by Disturbed, and is called Into the Fire. Don’t listen to this whole song unless you like the heavier rock genre. At least read along with the intro and a few of the lyrics and into the chorus. This is about the main singer. His girlfriend committed suicide, and he was standing over her body when the devil began talking to him, attempting to get him to end his life as well. This is definitely a disturbing song.
My second song also deals with suicide. It is about the main singer again, only this time his brother committed suicide. I would listen to this whole song, because it is deep. It’s by Seether, and is called Rise Above This. You can hear this singer fairly well, so you really shouldn’t need lyrics. As I read in a book at some point, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Hang in there people.
Friday, April 11, 2008
CS = G4R84G3
The week after a break is always one of the hardest. You’ve been sleeping from past midnight until around noon for upwards of a whole week. After 8 or 9 days, you suddenly have your zero hour hit you in the face as your alarm sounds at 6:00 in the morning, cutting your sleep down to six hours. You are not with it the whole day. It just sucks.
That’s about all. The word “tired” will describe how this week went.
Next on the agenda…ripping on a friend for a few moments.
The following expression isn’t taught in our school math class:
109>70
Now what does this mean? If I were driving a car, and the black and white signs that appear off to my right show the number 70, I could deduce that I should not go faster than 70. If I were to look in front of me and slightly down, and see that 109 was on my speedometer, I would have three options. Option one: gun it, because you’re going for a speed record. Option two: chill out, ease off the gas, and not get pulled over. Only a noob would pick the third option: maintain speed while in the vicinity of a state trooper and get pulled over. Only a noob…
Oh, and if someone were to lie by a refrigerator and not IN the refrigerator in an unknown person’s house while holding a P90, I would deem that person a noob and a camper. After writing this, I have added “noob” to my Microsoft word dictionary, because it IS a word.
That’s about all. The word “tired” will describe how this week went.
Next on the agenda…ripping on a friend for a few moments.
The following expression isn’t taught in our school math class:
109>70
Now what does this mean? If I were driving a car, and the black and white signs that appear off to my right show the number 70, I could deduce that I should not go faster than 70. If I were to look in front of me and slightly down, and see that 109 was on my speedometer, I would have three options. Option one: gun it, because you’re going for a speed record. Option two: chill out, ease off the gas, and not get pulled over. Only a noob would pick the third option: maintain speed while in the vicinity of a state trooper and get pulled over. Only a noob…
Oh, and if someone were to lie by a refrigerator and not IN the refrigerator in an unknown person’s house while holding a P90, I would deem that person a noob and a camper. After writing this, I have added “noob” to my Microsoft word dictionary, because it IS a word.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
COD4 HCS&D
Conflict 23 on 4/5/08
Creek: Hardcore Search & Destroy
Rounds to win: 4
Starting side: Offense
Our first three rounds of this game, of course, did not go well. Throughout the whole match, it was 6 v. 6. On offense, most of our team was either picked off by enemy snipers on the opposing hill or SMG’d or frag’d in the tunnel at B. Pretty much a slaughter. 0-3 at halftime, time to switch sides. It was now our turn for easy kills. We performed as well if not better than our opponents when they were on defense, ending rounds in as little as a minute and a half or less. Now it was 3-3, and time for a tiebreaker. We waited, and all swore as it randomly said “switching sides” when the 3-3 came up. We were on the un-winnable offensive team.
We had 6 guys, one went right, into the creek bed, four went up onto our main hill, and one went left, into the cave. The round was 2:30 for a max time to arm. Quickly, within maybe 20 or 25 seconds of the start, one player on our team sniped an opponent on their hill from our hill. Seeing the muzzle flash from his single round, he was shot at by two more enemy snipers, and was easily killed. Our 3 remaining on the hill retaliated. In the end, a minute into the game, we had lost 4 men, and they had lost only 3. In the cave, we still had an MP5 and the M21 in the creek bed remained as well. During the death of the 4th teammate on our team, the MP5 was crawling slowly out of the cave at B, holding the bomb. He abruptly stopped when he herd the barely audible click of a sniper bullet being reloaded into an M40A3 or an R700 chamber. One sniper was directly above him, but he could not risk moving and being seen. At this time, one enemy apparently slipped off of the house he was sniping from, and died from the fall. Noob.
2 v 2 now. The B MP5 had a plan. He knew the sniper above him would hear him open the briefcase with the bomb to arm it and simply look down to shoot him. The plan then followed. M21 in the creek bed began randomly firing up above B, where our team knew a sniper was. The enemy above saw the muzzle flashes, and fired two quick rounds, killing our 5th man. However, the MP5 waited for him to fire, and opened the briefcase at the exact same time. He didn’t hear him. Bomb armed. Bomb planted. The remaining two snipers didn’t stand a chance against an MP5 in close quarters. They were both shot attempting to disarm the bomb. 4-3, our win.
Creek: Hardcore Search & Destroy
Rounds to win: 4
Starting side: Offense
Our first three rounds of this game, of course, did not go well. Throughout the whole match, it was 6 v. 6. On offense, most of our team was either picked off by enemy snipers on the opposing hill or SMG’d or frag’d in the tunnel at B. Pretty much a slaughter. 0-3 at halftime, time to switch sides. It was now our turn for easy kills. We performed as well if not better than our opponents when they were on defense, ending rounds in as little as a minute and a half or less. Now it was 3-3, and time for a tiebreaker. We waited, and all swore as it randomly said “switching sides” when the 3-3 came up. We were on the un-winnable offensive team.
We had 6 guys, one went right, into the creek bed, four went up onto our main hill, and one went left, into the cave. The round was 2:30 for a max time to arm. Quickly, within maybe 20 or 25 seconds of the start, one player on our team sniped an opponent on their hill from our hill. Seeing the muzzle flash from his single round, he was shot at by two more enemy snipers, and was easily killed. Our 3 remaining on the hill retaliated. In the end, a minute into the game, we had lost 4 men, and they had lost only 3. In the cave, we still had an MP5 and the M21 in the creek bed remained as well. During the death of the 4th teammate on our team, the MP5 was crawling slowly out of the cave at B, holding the bomb. He abruptly stopped when he herd the barely audible click of a sniper bullet being reloaded into an M40A3 or an R700 chamber. One sniper was directly above him, but he could not risk moving and being seen. At this time, one enemy apparently slipped off of the house he was sniping from, and died from the fall. Noob.
2 v 2 now. The B MP5 had a plan. He knew the sniper above him would hear him open the briefcase with the bomb to arm it and simply look down to shoot him. The plan then followed. M21 in the creek bed began randomly firing up above B, where our team knew a sniper was. The enemy above saw the muzzle flashes, and fired two quick rounds, killing our 5th man. However, the MP5 waited for him to fire, and opened the briefcase at the exact same time. He didn’t hear him. Bomb armed. Bomb planted. The remaining two snipers didn’t stand a chance against an MP5 in close quarters. They were both shot attempting to disarm the bomb. 4-3, our win.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
#13?
So as I sit at my computer, waiting for a topic to fly into my face so I know what to write about, I listen. In the background, I hear cheering. This would be comforting, except it isn’t for me. My parents are watching Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? out in the living room. They seem to find it funny. I guess it helps their self-esteem when they figure out a few questions. Currently:
4th grade history!
Q: What attack by the confederacy in 1861 started the Civil War?
A: The guy who is winning the money has no clue whatsoever…he’s a moron. The little girl next to him says, “Fort Sumter,” and the crowd goes wild. There’s $100,000. Next question.
4th grade math…$175k.
Q: T/F… 1 and 9 are the only factors of 9.
A: I swear the guy guessed…false. 3 is as well.
Commercial break. (I beat minesweeper on expert…again! (252 seconds on expert(and I have more parenthesis in one spot than on this lame blog)))
$300k with 5th grade social studies.
Q: A person must be how old to be a US senator?
A: My parents guessed 35, but you only need to be 30. The moron lost $150,000 because he’s not smarter than a 5th grader. One word: Noob!
4th grade history!
Q: What attack by the confederacy in 1861 started the Civil War?
A: The guy who is winning the money has no clue whatsoever…he’s a moron. The little girl next to him says, “Fort Sumter,” and the crowd goes wild. There’s $100,000. Next question.
4th grade math…$175k.
Q: T/F… 1 and 9 are the only factors of 9.
A: I swear the guy guessed…false. 3 is as well.
Commercial break. (I beat minesweeper on expert…again! (252 seconds on expert(and I have more parenthesis in one spot than on this lame blog)))
$300k with 5th grade social studies.
Q: A person must be how old to be a US senator?
A: My parents guessed 35, but you only need to be 30. The moron lost $150,000 because he’s not smarter than a 5th grader. One word: Noob!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Bombs.
In US History we are just wrapping up World War II. As I’m sure you know, we concluded the war by bombing two Japanese cities, Hiroshima and Nagasaki with one atomic bomb apiece. In class today we discussed the ethics behind this decision.
I think weapons like this are amazing. The fact that today our country alone can destroy the world 30-something times is quite intriguing. It may not be the nicest thing, but it certainly is interesting to know.
But back to WWII. There are a few arguments for and against the bomb. At the time, the Japanese were attempting to surrender, according to most historians. They believe the bombs were unnecessary because Japan was had already surrendered. They also say that using these weapons on cities and killing hundreds of thousands of civilians was just plain uncalled for. According to them, displaying the weapon without hitting a military target should have been enough to prompt surrender.
Other people support the bomb, as I do. Japan was willing to surrender, yes. However, our government and our president Truman wanted unconditional surrender. We had allowed Germany off the hook in WWI, which caused WWII. Had they surrendered unconditionally, many say WWII wouldn’t have happened. If we allowed Japan to surrender as Germany had, they may have done the same thing. This would have then required us to continue the war, with a conventional invasion of Japan. This would have been similar to D-Day, only on possibly an even larger scale. This is the main reason I think the bombs were justified. Millions of Americans and Japanese would have been killed in this invasion. Millions. Yes, a few hundred thousand were killed instantly with the atomic bombs. Our government simply picked the lesser of two evils.
I think weapons like this are amazing. The fact that today our country alone can destroy the world 30-something times is quite intriguing. It may not be the nicest thing, but it certainly is interesting to know.
But back to WWII. There are a few arguments for and against the bomb. At the time, the Japanese were attempting to surrender, according to most historians. They believe the bombs were unnecessary because Japan was had already surrendered. They also say that using these weapons on cities and killing hundreds of thousands of civilians was just plain uncalled for. According to them, displaying the weapon without hitting a military target should have been enough to prompt surrender.
Other people support the bomb, as I do. Japan was willing to surrender, yes. However, our government and our president Truman wanted unconditional surrender. We had allowed Germany off the hook in WWI, which caused WWII. Had they surrendered unconditionally, many say WWII wouldn’t have happened. If we allowed Japan to surrender as Germany had, they may have done the same thing. This would have then required us to continue the war, with a conventional invasion of Japan. This would have been similar to D-Day, only on possibly an even larger scale. This is the main reason I think the bombs were justified. Millions of Americans and Japanese would have been killed in this invasion. Millions. Yes, a few hundred thousand were killed instantly with the atomic bombs. Our government simply picked the lesser of two evils.
Mock Trial
Our school’s mock trial competition got over a few weeks ago. For those who don’t know, it’s set up like a real court case, where your teammates play either attorney or witness roles. While in the competitions, you play one side of the case, either prosecution or defense, while your opponent argues the other side. It may not be just like law and order, but it’s similar. As an attorney you may have to do an opening or a closing. These are speeches at the beginning (opening) or the end (closing). The opening is about 4 minutes, while the closing is 6-8. You write them yourself. As follows is my opening from this year. I tie in our “theme” with how the events of the case occurred. Please don't read all of this, unless you find law mildly interesting as I do. This piece is merely an example of the work put into this competition, because this was, at one point, all memorized:
May it please the court? Opposing Counsel?
A large portion of this case, your honor, deals with evidence. However, a large portion of this evidence is not credible because, as the defense will show, the prosecution’s witnesses have been tampering with the past.
Hollis Price is a professor of history at Missouri Valley University, and she has been for the past 17 years. Price has spent a large amount of time dedicated to the Lewis and Clark expedition and Thomas Jefferson, and has compiled all of her research into a book that has recently been published.
Taylor Lane, the prosecution’s witness, also works in the Missouri Valley history department. He/She is not known for a single historical forte like Miss Price is. Lane writes about what the academic community considers to be outrageously inappropriate topics which often involve historical scandals. Lane once wrote that Dolly Madison had converted a wing of the white house into a brothel to fund the war effort, and that one of Dolly’s “girls” had been smoking in bed and caused the white house fire of 1812. Lane is known around the Missouri Valley University campus for similar attention-seeking acts. Sometime before this incident, Lane obtained supposed copies of the Lewis and Clark journals, which caused tension between Lane and Price. These journals were given to Lane by two of Lane’s fans. They attacked the reputation of Thomas Jefferson and of Lewis. Professor Price has recently written a book on these topics, so she requested to have the documents analyzed for authenticity. Lane refused to give her the originals, and she/he ended up changing the documents and then giving them to Professor Price for analysis.
On September 8th, 2007, Taylor was knocked unconscious in his/her home and the Lewis and Clark journals were stolen. Miss Price was at home that night, grading papers and revising one of her articles. Her phone and internet records show her at her house.
My client, Hollis Price, is wrongfully accused of three crimes: Burglary, Assault, and possession of burglar’s tools. The prosecution has the burden of proof, your honor. They must prove these three counts beyond a reasonable doubt in order for you to find Hollis Price guilty.
Our first witness is Mason Drake. She has a long history in crime scene investigation and analysis. She currently is a detective from a private investigation firm, “Not Guilty, Inc.” She was sent to re-examine the crime scene after the prosecution’s witness Bailey Dobbins had investigated. Through her examination, Drake determined that Bailey Dobbins’s investigation lacked in several ways.
Dobbins claimed to have found four fresh footprints at the crime scene, but only reported three. This was because he/she had inadvertently tampered with the scene. The fourth set of footprints was actually Dobbins’s own footprints. In his/her sloppy procedure, Drake found that she didn’t even secure the crime scene.
Also, Drake found that the fingerprints found in Lane’s office “may or may not” have been a match for Hollis Price. The national academy of forensic experts states that at least four of the five prints on anyone must be a good match before a positive ID can be made. Dobbins only provided partial prints, and their quality and number are insufficient to ID anyone. Drake proves that all of the prosecutions forensic evidence has been tampered with by an unprofessional police officer.
Our second witness will be Ashton Millbanks. He is a member of the history department at Sergeant Floyd College, and he specializes in forensic history and forensic anthropology. He compared Lane’s journals to an actual journal written by Lewis from the University of Missouri. He found that the two journals were written by entirely different people. The journals were a professional forgery; they were an attempt by Lane to tamper with the past.
Our last witness is Miss Price herself. She will explain more about the evidence that the prosecution found about her, in her own words. Her footprints were found at the scene, but she will explain that they’re there because Lane had a party the night before the break in, and that Price attended the party. She will also explain how she just wasn’t there. That night, Price was at home in the company of her Newfoundland, grading papers and revising one of her articles. Lastly, she will follow up saying that she had absolutely no motive to steal these journals. She knew that they were fakes and had been tampered with. She knew that because of this, they couldn’t harm her reputation or her book. And she knew that she no reason to break into Lane’s house to get them.
Your honor, the prosecution has the burden of proof in this case. They must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Professor Price is guilty of these crimes. As you will see, the past has been tampered with, and what we are left with is only doubt. Thank you.
May it please the court? Opposing Counsel?
A large portion of this case, your honor, deals with evidence. However, a large portion of this evidence is not credible because, as the defense will show, the prosecution’s witnesses have been tampering with the past.
Hollis Price is a professor of history at Missouri Valley University, and she has been for the past 17 years. Price has spent a large amount of time dedicated to the Lewis and Clark expedition and Thomas Jefferson, and has compiled all of her research into a book that has recently been published.
Taylor Lane, the prosecution’s witness, also works in the Missouri Valley history department. He/She is not known for a single historical forte like Miss Price is. Lane writes about what the academic community considers to be outrageously inappropriate topics which often involve historical scandals. Lane once wrote that Dolly Madison had converted a wing of the white house into a brothel to fund the war effort, and that one of Dolly’s “girls” had been smoking in bed and caused the white house fire of 1812. Lane is known around the Missouri Valley University campus for similar attention-seeking acts. Sometime before this incident, Lane obtained supposed copies of the Lewis and Clark journals, which caused tension between Lane and Price. These journals were given to Lane by two of Lane’s fans. They attacked the reputation of Thomas Jefferson and of Lewis. Professor Price has recently written a book on these topics, so she requested to have the documents analyzed for authenticity. Lane refused to give her the originals, and she/he ended up changing the documents and then giving them to Professor Price for analysis.
On September 8th, 2007, Taylor was knocked unconscious in his/her home and the Lewis and Clark journals were stolen. Miss Price was at home that night, grading papers and revising one of her articles. Her phone and internet records show her at her house.
My client, Hollis Price, is wrongfully accused of three crimes: Burglary, Assault, and possession of burglar’s tools. The prosecution has the burden of proof, your honor. They must prove these three counts beyond a reasonable doubt in order for you to find Hollis Price guilty.
Our first witness is Mason Drake. She has a long history in crime scene investigation and analysis. She currently is a detective from a private investigation firm, “Not Guilty, Inc.” She was sent to re-examine the crime scene after the prosecution’s witness Bailey Dobbins had investigated. Through her examination, Drake determined that Bailey Dobbins’s investigation lacked in several ways.
Dobbins claimed to have found four fresh footprints at the crime scene, but only reported three. This was because he/she had inadvertently tampered with the scene. The fourth set of footprints was actually Dobbins’s own footprints. In his/her sloppy procedure, Drake found that she didn’t even secure the crime scene.
Also, Drake found that the fingerprints found in Lane’s office “may or may not” have been a match for Hollis Price. The national academy of forensic experts states that at least four of the five prints on anyone must be a good match before a positive ID can be made. Dobbins only provided partial prints, and their quality and number are insufficient to ID anyone. Drake proves that all of the prosecutions forensic evidence has been tampered with by an unprofessional police officer.
Our second witness will be Ashton Millbanks. He is a member of the history department at Sergeant Floyd College, and he specializes in forensic history and forensic anthropology. He compared Lane’s journals to an actual journal written by Lewis from the University of Missouri. He found that the two journals were written by entirely different people. The journals were a professional forgery; they were an attempt by Lane to tamper with the past.
Our last witness is Miss Price herself. She will explain more about the evidence that the prosecution found about her, in her own words. Her footprints were found at the scene, but she will explain that they’re there because Lane had a party the night before the break in, and that Price attended the party. She will also explain how she just wasn’t there. That night, Price was at home in the company of her Newfoundland, grading papers and revising one of her articles. Lastly, she will follow up saying that she had absolutely no motive to steal these journals. She knew that they were fakes and had been tampered with. She knew that because of this, they couldn’t harm her reputation or her book. And she knew that she no reason to break into Lane’s house to get them.
Your honor, the prosecution has the burden of proof in this case. They must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Professor Price is guilty of these crimes. As you will see, the past has been tampered with, and what we are left with is only doubt. Thank you.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Titles Suck
Cutting your hair is similar to committing suicide. Sometimes you really feel like doing it, but you don’t have the means, so your desire fades away with time.
This term I need to get the old class rank up. My GPA has been on the rise since the beginning of time in freshman year, and until recently my class rank has been also. Last term I dropped by 4 people, even though my GPA was going up. I smell a resolution.
I have 3 AP classes this year: Language and Composition (of course), Psychology, and US History. My grades in these classes have been constant. I’ve gotten A’s in Psych and US both terms, and B+’s in Lang. Times must change. I must maintain my fair grades in the two social studies AP’s, while raising Language Arts. This will be done with a bit of work on my awesome research paper, which I have further refined its topic.
I am now going to research not theft, not the Mafia, not organized crime, but the black market. I have a few general resources which I don’t need to share with you, but I need more specific citations. I have a few stories about certain illegal trades, but it’s hard to get information about a trade ring that supposedly doesn’t exist. I like this topic because I can talk about the things they’re trading, be it drugs, prostitutes, immigrants, organs, or arms (as in guns). I can also go in the direction of how it affects the economy. Another name for the black market is the underground economy. This paper will rock, and I won’t lose any more ranks, hopefully.
This term I need to get the old class rank up. My GPA has been on the rise since the beginning of time in freshman year, and until recently my class rank has been also. Last term I dropped by 4 people, even though my GPA was going up. I smell a resolution.
I have 3 AP classes this year: Language and Composition (of course), Psychology, and US History. My grades in these classes have been constant. I’ve gotten A’s in Psych and US both terms, and B+’s in Lang. Times must change. I must maintain my fair grades in the two social studies AP’s, while raising Language Arts. This will be done with a bit of work on my awesome research paper, which I have further refined its topic.
I am now going to research not theft, not the Mafia, not organized crime, but the black market. I have a few general resources which I don’t need to share with you, but I need more specific citations. I have a few stories about certain illegal trades, but it’s hard to get information about a trade ring that supposedly doesn’t exist. I like this topic because I can talk about the things they’re trading, be it drugs, prostitutes, immigrants, organs, or arms (as in guns). I can also go in the direction of how it affects the economy. Another name for the black market is the underground economy. This paper will rock, and I won’t lose any more ranks, hopefully.
.,';.;')((.;',,.!
Today is a day of updates. I have gotten into the habit of doing one blog post during the week and doing two on Sunday. Happy Easter, by the way. Anyway, I've been continuing to play Pokemon in my spare time along with Call of Duty 4.
The difference between these two games is great. CoD4 is rated M for Mature, while Pokemon is rated E for Everyone. CoD4 came out late (I think November) last year, and Pokemon is from 1995-1996ish. CoD4 is intended for...older people, while Pokemon is for kids less than 10. It’s quite a clash if you go from one to the other.
For those who don’t know, CoD4 is a first-person shooter, which means you are walking around seeing from the eyes of your person. You see everything in front of you, hear things around you, and shoot at people. It can get pretty intense when you’re being fired upon and you’re forced to hit the deck with bullets whizzing past you and your teammates dying beside you, or other similar war-like scenarios. Now compare this to Pokemon. You have cute little “pocket monsters” that you train to do battle against other trainers. An attack shows your Pokemon jerking a bit, the other Pokemon flashes, and then its health bar drops. Things don’t die; they faint when they’re out of health. These games are polar opposites, yet I like them both.
The difference between these two games is great. CoD4 is rated M for Mature, while Pokemon is rated E for Everyone. CoD4 came out late (I think November) last year, and Pokemon is from 1995-1996ish. CoD4 is intended for...older people, while Pokemon is for kids less than 10. It’s quite a clash if you go from one to the other.
For those who don’t know, CoD4 is a first-person shooter, which means you are walking around seeing from the eyes of your person. You see everything in front of you, hear things around you, and shoot at people. It can get pretty intense when you’re being fired upon and you’re forced to hit the deck with bullets whizzing past you and your teammates dying beside you, or other similar war-like scenarios. Now compare this to Pokemon. You have cute little “pocket monsters” that you train to do battle against other trainers. An attack shows your Pokemon jerking a bit, the other Pokemon flashes, and then its health bar drops. Things don’t die; they faint when they’re out of health. These games are polar opposites, yet I like them both.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
___ 'em All
There has been a revival of sorts at our high school, and some of my friends and I have joined in. It seems that Pokemon is back, in some odd way at least. During passing time, at lunch, and especially after tests, I see people with their “ghetto” Gameboys. Never does anyone have a nice, new Gameboy. They always have the oldest possible model. The cartridge in this devise is always the same few colors: red, blue or yellow. These are the first installment of the Pokemon games, the red, blue and yellow versions, which seem to be the only “cool” ones. I couldn’t resist the urge to relapse to a near-infantile state of gaming, and start playing also.
I dug around my basement yesterday, searching for my old Gameboy. I found it in all its see-through-purple glory. Next, I searched for some of my Pokemon games. I ended up finding them all but one. I had red, blue, yellow, gold, and silver, but I was unable to find the yellow version. I selected red, and started a new game. Into the world of Pokemon I have dived, and hopefully I won’t get addicted. Long term goal: beat my friend Matt, who was still playing Pokemon before the “revival” at school.
I dug around my basement yesterday, searching for my old Gameboy. I found it in all its see-through-purple glory. Next, I searched for some of my Pokemon games. I ended up finding them all but one. I had red, blue, yellow, gold, and silver, but I was unable to find the yellow version. I selected red, and started a new game. Into the world of Pokemon I have dived, and hopefully I won’t get addicted. Long term goal: beat my friend Matt, who was still playing Pokemon before the “revival” at school.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
More Criminal Activities
To start off, I wasn’t exactly sure of what I wanted my research topic to be. I started simply with crimes such as robbery and theft, and started to Wikipedia. I tried finding specific cases which of course lead me to the Mafia and its activities. Many of the sources that Wikipedia listed were in Italian and Russian, so I really am unable to assess their validity. Therefore, I won’t use that site at all, at least for the Mafia-related information. As a side note, I also entertained the idea of researching brownies. However, the Wikipedia article, which is expected to be very long and full of general information, was barely longer than my computer screen. I quickly dismissed brownies as my topic.
I found the mafia to be a fairly interesting topic. However, I don’t want to write my paper focused solely on one group of criminals. This led me to zoom out yet again, this time to the all-encompassing term of organized crime. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be a criminal. In fact, I envision myself as someday being an attorney. But that’s beside the point. I find the history of these organizations and how they function in an orderly society to be interesting. I also like the long list of ways that these groups survive. Their focus is on making money, of course. They accomplish this by hijacking cargo trucks, robbing goods, committing bankruptcy fraud, insurance fraud, stock fraud, credit card fraud, car theft, burglary, counterfeiting money, smuggling or manufacturing untaxed alcohol or cigarettes, and providing smuggled immigrant workers. Many groups also engage in gambling, prostitution, drug trafficking, gunrunning, providing murder for hire, and illegally dumping toxic waste.
As you can see, there is much to talk about in relation to organized crime. I am unsure exactly what my thesis or the focus of my paper will be exactly at this point, however. Lastly, I have this link for myself, which gives tons of links to government websites and records. It is a large page and takes forever to load, so you don’t have to click it.
I found the mafia to be a fairly interesting topic. However, I don’t want to write my paper focused solely on one group of criminals. This led me to zoom out yet again, this time to the all-encompassing term of organized crime. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be a criminal. In fact, I envision myself as someday being an attorney. But that’s beside the point. I find the history of these organizations and how they function in an orderly society to be interesting. I also like the long list of ways that these groups survive. Their focus is on making money, of course. They accomplish this by hijacking cargo trucks, robbing goods, committing bankruptcy fraud, insurance fraud, stock fraud, credit card fraud, car theft, burglary, counterfeiting money, smuggling or manufacturing untaxed alcohol or cigarettes, and providing smuggled immigrant workers. Many groups also engage in gambling, prostitution, drug trafficking, gunrunning, providing murder for hire, and illegally dumping toxic waste.
As you can see, there is much to talk about in relation to organized crime. I am unsure exactly what my thesis or the focus of my paper will be exactly at this point, however. Lastly, I have this link for myself, which gives tons of links to government websites and records. It is a large page and takes forever to load, so you don’t have to click it.
Maff, not Meff
For the past 3 or 4 months in math class, all we’ve been doing is finding the slopes of lines tangent to graphs at any given point on the graph. Said simply, or at least less complexly, we’ve been finding derivatives. This may sound very boring to most people, but I actually tend to enjoy math classes. Using derivatives, you can find the maximum and minimum values for any equation. This means, when applied to “real-life” situations, such as those pertaining to businesses, factories, or pretty much anything that gives you products in exchange for money, that people can find out exactly how to level their prices to achieve maximum profit or to make sizes that minimize costs. This is done by finding derivatives, which (in math jargon) give you critical points which may be a maximum or minimum value.
The only problem I can remember that can easily explain this deals with some bus company. They charge 25 cents normally, and get 8000 passengers. For every 5 cent increase, they lose 800 people. After doing a bunch of math that looks really good on paper, you come up with 40 cents and 5600 passengers giving the most money, which is your maximum value. This was all done with derivatives.
Also, from writing this, I have learned how to spell derivative because Microsoft Word corrected my butchering of it enough times that I learned how to spell it.
And lastly, I must quote one of my friend’s t-shirts, “I wish I was your derivative, so I could lay tangent to your curves.”
The only problem I can remember that can easily explain this deals with some bus company. They charge 25 cents normally, and get 8000 passengers. For every 5 cent increase, they lose 800 people. After doing a bunch of math that looks really good on paper, you come up with 40 cents and 5600 passengers giving the most money, which is your maximum value. This was all done with derivatives.
Also, from writing this, I have learned how to spell derivative because Microsoft Word corrected my butchering of it enough times that I learned how to spell it.
And lastly, I must quote one of my friend’s t-shirts, “I wish I was your derivative, so I could lay tangent to your curves.”
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Speak
Yesterday at the academic assembly fifteen or so Japanese students were introduced to our school. They will be here for about two weeks, mingling with us Americans in classes. They introduced themselves by saying something along the line of, “My name is (Cao Ren, Lu Bu, or something Asian-like). Nice to meet you!” This was followed by what sounded like a very quickly spoken Japanese phrase. After saying their sentence or so in Japanese, all of the other Japanese kids would chuckle a bit. The Japanese teacher would then “translate” their sentence into English. They all made fun of the teachers, saying that we should put a wall on our northern boarder to keep out Canadians or that we should have Herk, the old math teacher, teach history. Talking to a few of my friends who actually know Japanese, they told me that the kids actually said things like, “Your school is very large,” or “American girls are pretty.” The faulty translations were meant to make it seem like we liked what they were saying. The part I found most interesting, however, was the extremeness of the language gap. When you think about it, those 15 people really couldn’t communicate with the 1800 or so other kids in that gym. Just something crazy I thought about yesterday.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
#3!
I had 7 days to write three entries on this blog. An excellent student would write one the first day, one the second day, and finish up on the third day knowing he/she had no blog-homework the rest of the week. A good student would write them randomly throughout the week, and in a worst case scenario have to finish up one on the Sunday before they’re due. I however, couldn’t do either of those. I wrote my first entry the day we were assigned this, and then wrote my other two entries today, on Sunday.
I am not usually this bad. I have invented my own method for dealing with long term assignments, and I have named it the “two day rule.” This is very simple. As my title states, do the assignment two days before it is due. This combines the best of both worlds. You can procrastinate, spending maybe a week doing absolutely nothing to further your project, all while enjoying the large amount of free time you have. You then get it done two nights before it is due, which keeps you out of the extreme procrastination crowd. You sacrifice one night to homework to have upwards of five homework-less nights. I find this to be a brilliant strategy. I am not always able to stick to it, sadly.
I am not usually this bad. I have invented my own method for dealing with long term assignments, and I have named it the “two day rule.” This is very simple. As my title states, do the assignment two days before it is due. This combines the best of both worlds. You can procrastinate, spending maybe a week doing absolutely nothing to further your project, all while enjoying the large amount of free time you have. You then get it done two nights before it is due, which keeps you out of the extreme procrastination crowd. You sacrifice one night to homework to have upwards of five homework-less nights. I find this to be a brilliant strategy. I am not always able to stick to it, sadly.
Fire and Flames
I consider myself to be a fairly accomplished guitar hero player. I can beat every song on the hardest difficulty, expert, except for one. Just one. And it is this song, Through the Fire and the Flames by Dragonforce. I also found a video of some 9 year old kid playing, and this one shows the notes you have to play.
This song is incredibly difficult to play because of how fast it is, and because you don’t always play the guitar parts in the game. If you watch the first part of the little kid’s video, look at the TV screen. It alternates between the lowest fret, green, and another different one. Red, green, red, green, yellow, green, blue, green, exc. If you look at the first video of the band actually playing it, this is the keyboardist’s part. This is probably one of the largest hurdles to beating this song. I play it the same way the kid does, only with more mistakes. You have to play with two hands on the frets so you can’t strum. This means if you miss a note, you will miss all the rest until you strum again. It’s tough.
Right after this part, they play lots of 16th notes, which you actually can count. Most people criticize guitar hero for just being streaming colors, but you can actually add some musical element to it. The whole rest of the song is easy except for the solos, which are at about 3:21 on the first video, and a minute or so later on the 2nd video. I can’t beat this part because my hair isn’t long enough and my fingers aren’t fast enough. Apparently the little kid can, though.
This song is incredibly difficult to play because of how fast it is, and because you don’t always play the guitar parts in the game. If you watch the first part of the little kid’s video, look at the TV screen. It alternates between the lowest fret, green, and another different one. Red, green, red, green, yellow, green, blue, green, exc. If you look at the first video of the band actually playing it, this is the keyboardist’s part. This is probably one of the largest hurdles to beating this song. I play it the same way the kid does, only with more mistakes. You have to play with two hands on the frets so you can’t strum. This means if you miss a note, you will miss all the rest until you strum again. It’s tough.
Right after this part, they play lots of 16th notes, which you actually can count. Most people criticize guitar hero for just being streaming colors, but you can actually add some musical element to it. The whole rest of the song is easy except for the solos, which are at about 3:21 on the first video, and a minute or so later on the 2nd video. I can’t beat this part because my hair isn’t long enough and my fingers aren’t fast enough. Apparently the little kid can, though.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
reSearch
My research will involve crime in some form. It will probably focusing on robberies or theft on a larger scale. Why? I can talk about the past, present or future of crime, how it impacts people, and what motivates people to steal.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Free Cookies?
“Oops … wrong cookie.”
I have recently started collecting the words of wisdom from the inside of fortune cookies. I eat Chinese food quite a bit (at least twice a week), so I get lots of these cookies. However, as of this point, my collection contains only five or six fortunes. I have very strict requirements to be a part of my collection, and only an elite few may enter. The fortunes must be entertaining. I don’t want the run of the mill “You will be prosperous” or “Someone special will soon enter your life.” I want something humorous. I demand faulty translations, bad grammar, cold sarcasm, or something just completely off the wall.
“It’s not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie!”
I take these small, white pieces of paper and tack them to my bedroom wall. Glancing over them, most seem to be in blue writing, oddly enough. They are all behind my door, if it’s open, white against the bright orange wall. Each restaurant seems to have its own brand of cookies, and I really only eat at three of them: Metro Buffet, The Great Dragon, and HyVee Chinese. Each time I go by myself or with friends, I get one cookie. If I go with my family, I usually get my parents’ two along with mine. Even if I don’t want to eat the cookie, I’ll open them all just to see if there are any good fortunes.
“Pass the bill to the person of your left.”
In the end, however, there really is no point to collecting things. These slips of paper are useless, and even the “meaningful” ones don’t predict anything. I used to collect state quarters until I realized that I could buy a nice amount of candy with all of my quarters. They were much tastier after they had been spent. The point is, I don’t believe anything these fortunes have to say. They simply complement the good food from some of my favorite Chinese restaurants.
“You will live a long time, long enough to open many, many fortune cookies.”
I have recently started collecting the words of wisdom from the inside of fortune cookies. I eat Chinese food quite a bit (at least twice a week), so I get lots of these cookies. However, as of this point, my collection contains only five or six fortunes. I have very strict requirements to be a part of my collection, and only an elite few may enter. The fortunes must be entertaining. I don’t want the run of the mill “You will be prosperous” or “Someone special will soon enter your life.” I want something humorous. I demand faulty translations, bad grammar, cold sarcasm, or something just completely off the wall.
“It’s not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie!”
I take these small, white pieces of paper and tack them to my bedroom wall. Glancing over them, most seem to be in blue writing, oddly enough. They are all behind my door, if it’s open, white against the bright orange wall. Each restaurant seems to have its own brand of cookies, and I really only eat at three of them: Metro Buffet, The Great Dragon, and HyVee Chinese. Each time I go by myself or with friends, I get one cookie. If I go with my family, I usually get my parents’ two along with mine. Even if I don’t want to eat the cookie, I’ll open them all just to see if there are any good fortunes.
“Pass the bill to the person of your left.”
In the end, however, there really is no point to collecting things. These slips of paper are useless, and even the “meaningful” ones don’t predict anything. I used to collect state quarters until I realized that I could buy a nice amount of candy with all of my quarters. They were much tastier after they had been spent. The point is, I don’t believe anything these fortunes have to say. They simply complement the good food from some of my favorite Chinese restaurants.
“You will live a long time, long enough to open many, many fortune cookies.”
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